Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize