Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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