I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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