I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
