final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
