I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
