when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
