Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
