if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
How external is "for external use only"?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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