I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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