Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
