Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
