the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
