Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
