Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ ðŸ‘ðŸ¼
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
