I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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