When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
