you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
