i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
