even my farts smell like vagina
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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