i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
