my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
two words: eviction party
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
