whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
