I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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