How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
operation harelip BJ is a go
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
