Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
