you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Randomize
