You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
