Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize