She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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