Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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