There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
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