In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
