I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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