so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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