I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
