Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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