absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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