just come out here and I will go home with you...
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
