I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
