At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
