My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
