I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
