no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
