He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
