There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
so let's talk penis.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize