that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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