i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
