The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
