he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize