There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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