know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
