Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
