Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
