weddingsv make me drug and hornr
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
