i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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