I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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