Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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