i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
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