Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
