i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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