yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
