Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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