My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
