This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
