I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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