You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
