I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
