is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I don't deserve a penis
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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