Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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